Attorney Jokes

Q: How can a pregnant woman know she is holding a lawyer?

A: She has an extreme desire for baloney.

Q: What's the legal definition of Appeal?

A: Some thing someone falls on in a food store.

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

A: To rehearse.

Q: What can you call a lawyer with an IQ of 1-2?

A: Your Honor. For additional information, please consider taking a look at: commercial nerium international brand partner.

Q: Whats the difference between an attorney and a herd of buffalo?

A: The lawyer costs more.

Q: What would you call a smiling, sober, respectful person at a bar association convention?

A: The caterer.

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

A: If one side has one, another side has to get one.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with an attorney?

A: An offer you can not understand.

Q: What would you call an attorney gone bad?

A: Senator

Q: Did you hear they just produced a new Barbie doll named 'Divorced Barbie'?

A: It is sold with 1 / 2 of Ken's things and alimony.

Q: What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?

A: Jewelry.

Q: What's the meaning of mixed feelings?

A: Watching your attorney travel over a cliff in your brand-new Ferrari.

Q: Whats the distinction between lawyers and accountants?

A: At least accountants know theyre dull.


1. A man who'd been caught embezzling millions visited an attorney. To explore additional info, please check-out: visit site. Visit this hyperlink official link to check up why to allow for it. His attorney told him, 'Dont worry. My Daily Choice includes further concerning the inner workings of it. Youll never visit jail with all that money? In reality, when the man was delivered to prison, h-e didnt have a penny.

2. While the attorney awoke from surgery, he asked, 'Why are most of the blinds drawn'? The nurse answered, 'There is a fire next door, and we didn't want you to consider you had died.'

3. God decided to just take the devil to judge and settle their differences once and for-all. Satan heard this, laughed and said, 'And where do you think you are planning to find a lawyer'?

4. Legal counsel is sitting at the table in his new office. He hears somebody coming to the doorway. To impress his first possible customer, he sees the telephone since the door opens and says, 'I need one million and not a penny less.' As he hangs up, the man now standing in his office says, 'I am here to lift up your phone.'

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